Vegtables

One of my mother's goals in life was to convert me to the zealous love of vegetables.  This goal went on unsuccessfully for years, as I stubbornly refused to love vegetables, and she stubbornly continued to feed them to me anyways.

I Hate Peas
The first way I tried to avoid eating my vegetables was to stuff every single pea or cubed carrot she put onto my plate into my mouth all at once.  Then I would sit and chew, and chew, and chew . .  . and chew.  I think all the chewing has something to do with stuffing so many vegetables into a rather small mouth, and my not wanting to swallow them.  After what seemed like hours I would finally turn to my mother and ask if I could use the bathroom.  Then I would go spit out all the mushed up peas and carrots and flush them down the toilet—I would then return to happily devour all the rest of my cold food.

The saddest part of this story is that I did not fool my parents.  They knew exactly what I was doing with the vegetables in my mouth—not really a hard deduction when I left with a mouth brimming with soggy vegetables and returned with it empty.  They let me do it because they felt sorry for me—I really did spend hours chewing those stupid peas and carrots!



Eating Lettuce is Fun
For my mother I tried to make eating my salad into some sort of game.  I also decided to include my brothers—if we were going to eat vegetables we were all going to suffer through it together. 

It began with a fork and a bowl of lettuce.  I stuck the lettuce through with the fork, put the fork upside down in the air and declared it a tree and the lettuce leaves.  At the time I had been watching dinosaur movies and so naturally my brothers and I became brontosauruses.  We ate the entire bowl of lettuce, sitting at the table, eating "leaves" (lettuce pieces) off of "trees" (forks) with our mouths only.

I imagine we managed not only to amuse ourselves, but probably our parents with this approach as well.


Lima Beans
I feel like adding this story just because I find it so strange.

Lima Beans were another vegetable that I obsessed over.  I have no idea why I decided that I adored them, but I did. 

First of all, you should know that I do not like Lima beans, I have never liked Lima Beans.

Second of all you should know that when I decide something, I decide it with gusto.

I decided I liked Lima Beans, not just liked them, prized and treasured them—even though I didn't.  I ate the small light green beans for months straight.  I begged my mother for them, I served myself huge mounds of them, I even returned for seconds and ate even more.

It took me several months before I finally made the mental leap to realize that there was nothing about Lima Beans I liked.  Then I realized that I probably shouldn't be begging for them every night.  Why I decided to trick my mother into thinking I liked Lima Beans I'm not sure, it only made her happy that there was some vegetable I would eat, and me slightly miserable because I was eating something I hated every night.  Did I stop eating them after I realized I hated them.  No. 

Strange story?

Yes.